Dear Lilies,
“For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in this body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in this body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.” Philippians 1:22
Last week, I was chomping at the bit to write to you all again. I asked my mom and Johnny, do you think three letters a week is too much? Heck, I was thinking maybe one everyday. Thankfully for you, after prayer and consulting with my loved ones, I believe that one letter a week is best. Now you can all take a deep breath.
Anyhow, in the excitement of last week, I thought I would write this next letter about a topic that has been ruminating in my mind ever since the Lord revealed it to me a couple of months ago. I even wrote most of it. But, the Lord had different plans for us this week. As often the case with my delightful stubbornness, I had to kind of be hit over the head (no harm done, no need to worry) by the Holy Spirit to be still and listen to what God actually had planned for me to write.
So, as I sat drinking my Yogi “Calming” tea at 6:20 AM on the couch on Saturday morning with Pebbles curled up in my lap, I opened by Bible to this passage above. If you find it strange to be drinking calming tea at 6:20 am, you are right. That alone should tell you a little bit about how my last couple of days had been. No, let’s cut the crap (pardon my French) I have been spinning out of control – oh, the irony. The last couple of days have been so ridiculously hard. So hard. I have never wanted to just give up as much as I did during those days. What is the point? Am I a hypocrite for trying to share Truth with these people (whom I really don’t even know) when I myself still am still just a wretched sinner? Why am I even having these thoughts, why can’t I get a break? God, show me what the point is. I know your promises, I know your Grace is never ending, but…”
My childish complaining was interrupted by this nice whack of a verse written by Paul in Philippians.
“…to live is Christ and to die is gain” What does that even mean? Until that early morning with my calming tea, I had always been a little perplexed about it. I thought, at the very least, it meant that we should live for Christ, but when we die (as believers), that’s really the best thing because we will be with Christ, forever.
Well, that’s not entirely wrong. But it’s not entirely right, either. There is more. Much more.
If you go back and start reading this passage in around chapter 1 verse 8, you will find out that Paul is writing this letter while he is in prison. Yes, literal prison. Paul writes “I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.” (Philippians 1:13) How awesome. Picture Paul, chained in a Roman prison, preaching the Word. Speaking His name – fearlessly, boldly, unashamed.
Now, though Paul is in a literal prison, with literal chains, we also know that Paul struggled with what he called a “thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” (2 Corinthians 12: 7) that was never taken away from him. He says, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12: 8-9)
Pause.
I believe in complete healing. Deliverance. Freedom. I am not saying that you will never experience complete healing from whatever you suffer with, but hang with me for a few more minutes.
Back to Philippians and Paul in prison. It had to have been pretty bad there, held a prisoner in a Roman prison. I want to learn more about the history of the time when this was written, because I know it would be even more powerful, but just think about Paul in any prison, not as a compliant “resident”, but someone who was speaking the Good News of Christ, loudly throughout the prison – the very thing he was imprisoned for! For me, and I think for most of us, there comes a time when we wonder why we are living. The circumstances seem to daunting. We may even feel like we are in a prison of our own sin patterns. The bars are thick; our chains feel tighter each moment. Why am I here? What is the point? Wouldn’t it just be better if I were gone from this earth – all its problems, all my problems? I know heaven will be free from this. What is the point?
Here’s the point. God is in control. God knows your name and knows what you are going through. On this earth, we will have trails and struggles, yes. But if we take ourselves out of the game, we can no longer be used by God. All those struggles and hardships we’ve been through so far, they weren’t able to be used for His Glory, they were just our struggles.
But if we live, we live for Christ. Which means that we aren’t perfect. Heck no. It means we take up our cross daily and follow Him. It means that when we fail, when we slipup, when we relapse, His Grace is sufficient and His power is being made perfect IN our weakest moments.
One day we will be like Paul who is now with Christ. And what a Glorious day it will be. But right now, until the Lord takes us each home, we are here. What if Paul had decided that it really wasn’t worth it and it would be better for him to just die and be with Christ? Think about that for a second.
So today, Dear Lilies, let’s be like Paul and choose life. Let our lives be radiant with Christ. Let us boast all the more about our weaknesses, because as Paul says, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 10)
Oh Dear Lilies, live!
Love,
Sarah